


Promises

by orphan_account



Category: Naruto
Genre: Angst, Canonical Character Death, Growing Up, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Minor Self Harm, canonical suicide
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-01-20
Updated: 2015-01-20
Packaged: 2018-03-08 09:55:09
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,879
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3204953
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>This is what he was meant to do.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Promises

**Author's Note:**

> tw for suicide, death, injury.... its not as bad as it sounds??? no. no thats a lie its pretty bad

The teen’s heart was about to burst through his chest. He was hidden in one of the many nooks and crannies that were scattered through the alleys of Konoha, waiting for that familiar shock of white hair to pass by. His eyes glanced throughout the crowd quickly, trying not to rest on any one person in particular for too long, afraid that he was going to miss the boy he was looking for.

It was a couple minutes later that he spotted the oh-so-familiar ponytail darting through the crowd. He dashed after it, managing to catch the other boy on the shoulder, turning him around so that they could greet each other properly.

“Sakumo! You’ve been gone for a while! What do you say to some lunch?”

Sakumo’s smile was nervous, especially compared to the beaming grin he was facing, but his words were still genuine. “Yeah. I’d love that, Dai.”

As Dai insisted on paying for the both of them, Sakumo let him pick the restaurant. They ended up shoved in the corner of some dubious curry joint, although neither of them minded at all. The food was hot, cheap, and decent but best of all filling and Sakumo, who had just come back from a mission, and Dai, whose training could make the best ninjas break down into tears, were able to eat their fill quite easily, filling the pauses between plates with small talk.

Dai’s spoon clinked down onto the table and he gestured to the waitress to bring over another plate. As she ladled the thick curry over rice, Dai turned back to Sakumo. “So how was your last mission?”

Sakumo paused between bites and grinned at Dai. “I got to lead this one.”

Dai paused. “You got to… lead?” His next plate of curry was placed in front of him, but suddenly he wasn’t so hungry anymore. He plastered on the largest smile he could muster, and beamed at Sakumo. “Thats great! How did it go?”

A slight blush tinted Sakumo’s cheeks as glanced down at his spoon. Ninjas were taught not to be too prideful, but sometimes you let your feelings get the best of you. “Sensei said that he was considering recommending me for Jounin assignment soon.”

He was torn. Dai wanted to be happy for his friend, but he could feel jealousy bubbling up and churning inside him. He swallowed his nasty feelings and reached across to grab Sakumo’s shoulder, feeling the warmth of the other through the contact. “That’s great! When it’s official, we should go out to celebrate!”

And as they grinned at each other both of them knew that it would in fact be a matter of not if, but rather when it would happen. 

And as they left both of them tried to dance around the other side of that fact.

And as they parted ways to return to their respective homes, they each thought about their futures, one bright, one bleak. 

And as they laid down to sleep, each nearly all the way across town from the other, they tried not to think of the implications that would bring.

* * *

It wasn’t that he was unhappy with who he was. It was just that there were many things about him that he felt like he hadn’t perfected yet. 

It was those words that Dai kept repeating to himself day after day as he trained until his knuckles bled and his knees were shaking and the bruises up and down his body blossomed into purple clouds. 

Sakumo was always gone on some mission or another. With him out of the picture, Dai was basically alone. When Sakumo was there, the whole world seemed easier to handle. Now he could feel the full weight of the world on his shoulders, but he didn’t mind too much. He would get stronger and one day no one would have any reason to put him down.

Until then, he’d just have to deal with it. He would wrap his hands firmer and tie his headband tighter and work that much harder until the one person who knew him was back.

But everyone has their weakness.

It was towards the end of the day. Dai was dragging himself home from training, using the usual winding roads as both a convenient cooldown and away from the hordes of his old classmates that only talked to him to taunt him. He spotted a group of people around his age and sped up, although his feet were too tired to carry him fast enough from the words that were muttered as he passed.

“Who does he think he is… Sakumo’s just bringing himself down by hanging out with that loser.”

He instantly spun around and barrelled right for the boy whose mouth wasn’t even closed yet from speaking, pinning him to the wall and choking him as his friends scrambled to get Dai off. 

“YOU TAKE THAT BACK! YOU TAKE THAT BACK!”

Dai was pulled back by the friends of the boy who had collapsed to the ground coughing. He couldn’t stop screaming, struggling to free himself from the hands that held him back, fat tears rolling down his cheeks and splashing onto the pavement.

“DON’T YOU TALK THAT WAY ABOUT SAKUMO!”

He felt his head pitch forward as something hit it, and before he had any time to process what had just happened, Dai was knocked out.

He woke up in the hospital a day later. 

Sakumo was sitting in the chair by the window, dappled light streaming in and casting lacy shadows over his face. He noticed Dai was awake and smiled at him, his expression tinged with sadness.

“What happened while I was gone?”

Dai looked down and saw that the hospital had not only taken care of his recent injury, but also patched up all the wounds he had gotten through training. The bandages covered nearly all the space on both his arms and legs, and as he shakily pushed himself up to a sitting position, he felt the pull of bruised muscles. “Those kids started insulting you.”

Sakumo laughed dryly. “And so you decided to fight for my honor? That’s nice, but I think you have more problems to worry about than just what they think of me.”

Dai’s cheeks flushed as he balled his fists into the sheets. “That’s… that’s not what I meant—”

“What did you mean then?” Sakumo leaned back in the chair and crossed his arms. 

He gulped. It was now or never. “I couldn’t stand it because I LOVE you.” Tears started welling up in his eyes. “How could they say that I drag you down when I’m not strong at all.”

Dai felt the arms wrap around him and pull him forward, Sakumo’s breath tickling his ear. “You don’t drag me down at all. You’re the strongest person I know.”

The two stayed like that for a while, holding each other in their arms. Neither of them spoke, but they didn’t need to. What was there to say?

Sakumo finally pulled back to check the time. “Shit… I never turned in our mission report.”

The reality that Sakumo had ditched his duties to check on Dai sunk in as Sakumo started to gather up his belongings, apologizing profusely for not being able to stay any longer.

As he scurried to the door, Sakumo glanced back at Dai. “Oh, and one more thing.” He grasped the door frame in one hand, smiling. “I feel the same way.”

And with that he dashed off, leaving Dai a blushing mess.

* * *

It hurts when you aren’t able to show people how much the one you love means to you.

Dai and Sakumo felt that in spades.

It wasn’t that they were afraid of the stares, of the words, of the gestures, of the harassment that generally comes with being around Dai. Although those things hurt, they would have been able to get through that. Together.

What they were afraid of was the impact on other parts of their lives. They heard the horror stories of ninjas getting denied jobs because of their partners, the way their lives were systematically ruined from the top down. Even if they had each other, they didn’t know if they would be able to go through that.

And so they kept it hidden. They owned separate apartments in separate buildings and would sneak through each others windows to visit. They would pass each other in the street with a nod, and eat lunch together like friends ought to do, looking nervously at the other couples making eyes at each other to see if they were noticing the subtle brushing of fingers over the other’s hand, or the way they would occasionally bump knees in a not-entirely-platonic fashion.

It was nerve wracking. 

But they made it work. 

They would order takeout and spend long nights just talking with each other, exploring their relationship in the safety of their own homes. When Sakumo would come home from an important mission, Dai would take it upon himself to massage the knots out of Sakumo’s back, and when Dai accidentally injured himself working too hard, it was Sakumo that patched him back up again.

It was in that way that they spent years upon years, each happy just with the other, until one day, when the two were sitting down for breakfast after spending the night together.

“Listen, Dai…” Sakumo traced the rim of his coffee mug, visibly nervous. “What do you think of adoption?”

It was an overwhelming yes from Dai as he scooped Sakumo up and planted a wet kiss on his cheek and they began planning out how they were going to go about it.  
They eventually decided to go in on seperate days and each find a kid to take care of on their own. They couldn’t bear the thought of having to raise the kid with only one of them as their parent, and they also couldn’t imagine what would happen if the kid let it slip that their parents were both male. So even though it hurt, they each set off to the adoption agency alone. 

Sakumo went first and chose a child named Kakashi, whose hair refused to lay flat and insisted on keeping his face covered with a bandanna. As they left, Sakumo bought him a decent facemask. They were each perfect for each other.

Dai went after a couple of days and ran into a child named Gai, who found his facial hair endlessly fascinating and got teased by the other kids for not being able to remember their names. As they left Gai reached over and hugged onto his leg, refusing to let go. Dai reached down and picked the child up and in that moment promised to do whatever it took to protect him.

And so their lives were changed forever as the size of their strange family doubled. Raising them apart was tough, so when Gai promised to Kakashi that he would be his eternal rival in front of the school gates that fateful day, both Sakumo and Dai held in their hearts the hope that things would indeed get better.

* * *

Of course, things couldn’t be too good for too long. Sakumo was an amazing ninja, but after having a kid you get soft. And as such when he was faced with the choice between saving his teammates and completing his mission, he looked into their eyes and saw the families that they would be leaving behind and chose the only rational option.

They stumbled back into Konoha, Sakumo barking out orders to get the injured into the hospital before even beginning to think if he himself was safe. But when he finally made his way up to the Hokage’s office to give his official mission report, he wasn’t expecting to be yelled at for putting the lives of his comrades in front of the mission that he was supposed to be doing.

Were lives really that dispensable?

And as he left and staggered back to his apartment, drunk off shame and embarrassment, word quickly spread through town of his failure. Sakumo Hatake, born genius, one of the strongest men in Konoha, had failed.

* * *

The harassment started the very next day. Sakumo began to find reasons to stay home, away from the jabbing words of the public. It wasn’t like he was going to get any missions after that. He was surprised they didn’t take away his official Jounin status. But no matter whether it was officially revoked or not, the implication was still there.

He began to sneak over to Dai’s apartment more and more in the late hours of the night, not wanting to be in his apartment, once so roomy clouded over with the insults that kept following him and the son that he kept hurting just by being around. By being a failure.

At least when he was with Dai they had each other. Soon there wasn’t a single night that the two of them weren’t tangled together in the covers, clinging on to the one person who was there for them.

But one night Sakumo didn’t come over. 

And when Gai pestered Kakashi at school, he came home to say that Sakumo wasn’t anywhere to be found. 

And it was then that Dai started to worry. He threw on a heavy coat and ran out into the night, searching high and low for his love.

It didn’t take him that long to find Sakumo. He was on the roof of a massive apartment complex, directly across the street from a dusty old curry joint familiar to the both of them, windows cracked and a “For Sale” sign peeling off the door. 

“Sakumo.”

Sakumo laughed dryly. “I guess nothing is here forever, huh.” He barely cast more than a glance as Dai sat down next to him, body instinctively curving to meet the other.

“Look at the stars.”

And as Sakumo glanced up, Dai took one of his hands and intertwined in in Sakumo’s, refusing to let go. 

“Please come home.”

They walked through the town hand in hand, the streets deserted so late at night. The moon cast deep shadows as they wound through alleyways, sneaking back up to Dai’s apartment as not to wake up Gai. They collapsed on the bed, Dai pulling Sakumo’s hair out of its usual ponytail. 

Dai was gently pulling off Sakumo’s shirt, pressing soft kisses up and down the other’s neck when he felt tears hit his shoulder. He looked up and saw Sakumo holding back a sob and instantly pulled back. “Do you want me to stop?”

Sakumo shook his head. “How do you live with this everyday?” The tears were running down his cheeks, leaving shining streaks in their wake. “It must be so hard for the both of you...”

Dai pulled him into his arms gently, running his fingers through the silky hair as sobs racked through Sakumo’s body. He had never seen the other man cry like this. Sakumo was supposed to be strong, powerful, invincible, and yet here he felt so small in Dai’s arms. 

And as they laid down to rest, Dai promised himself that he would try and do everything in his power to protect Sakumo.

* * *

He never got his chance. Sakumo was gone in the morning and he thought nothing of it until Gai had already left for school and he was cleaning up the kitchen and found a note hidden underneath the coffeepot.

As he read his heart started beating in his throat and he could hear nothing but the blood rushing through his ears and the half-cleaned kitchen got abandoned as he sprinted out of his apartment, barefoot and wild as he barrelled through the streets, praying that he wouldn’t be too late.

He threw open the door to Sakumo’s apartment and burst in, freezing when he saw Kakashi in front of him, leaning down to examine the body on the floor. Kakashi turned slowly around to face Dai, face completely white and pupils dilated so far that the ring of the iris was barely visible. 

“My dad…”

Dai picked Kakashi up in a sweeping hug, holding the little boy tightly as the tears began to fall, blurring his vision of the the man on the floor in front of them.

And as the police and paramedics came and it was ruled a suicide, Dai shoved the note a little further into his pocket as the last three words ran through his head on loop: “I love you.”

* * *

Dai never did end up going to the funeral. His goodbyes were too long and personal to say in a room full of people and as he visited Sakumo’s grave every day he let a little more spill each time. 

Time seemed to pass so slowly, but yet when he checked the calendar Dai found out that nearly two years had passed. 

Dai still felt incomplete when Sakumo was gone. He had been checking in on Kakashi regularly, making sure that the boy was alright. He was one of the last reminders of Sakumo that Dai had left.

But Dai wasn’t totally alone. He still had Gai, and focused his energy on making sure that the boy was going to go so much further than he ever had. 

Sakumo’s letter went with him everywhere. Folded up, stuffed in the back of his forehead protector, Dai was never without a constant reminder of the one man he had loved.

And he knew that he would never be able to mess up on protecting someone. It was the only thing that he, one of the weakest, most hated men in Konoha was able to do.

* * *

Dai had a bad feeling about that day in particular. It was one of the first times that Gai was going on a mission outside of Konoha without Jounin supervision and so he tailed them, not wanting to lose the person most precious to him. Again.

His suspicions turned out to be correct. As the boys stood face to face with seven of the strongest ninjas in the world, Dai leaped out of the bushes, placing himself in the middle of the action. He grinned and yelled back at the three boys to run back home.

The look on their faces was one he knew well. But as he dug his finger into his chest and opened up the final gate, Gai finally realized what it meant. 

Dai wasn’t lying when he swore to do whatever it took to protect his son.

And as the three boys fled through the underbrush back to Konoha, he motioned to the swordsmen that he was their real opponent and got ready to fight. 

And as they leapt up, their swords swinging back, Dai knew that even a loser like him could try and do something right, for once.

* * *

What people failed to mention about opening the last of the eight gates is that you don’t die instantly. Your muscles scream and tear themselves to shreds and it takes until that process reaches your heart before you are finally gone, if you didn’t pass out from the sheer pain beforehand.

Dai was a man who knew how to deal with a lot of pain. He was on his back, breathing fast and shallow as six of the Seven Swordsmen split up, leaving one behind to guard him.

“You won’t find them, you know.”

The girl looked over at Dai. “Wanna smoke?”

Dai cleared his throat. “I said, you’re not going to find them.”

She kicked back against a tree and pulled out a cigarette, striking up a match to light the tip. She leisurely drew in the smoke and blew it out, watching as the curls disappeared into nothingness. “I know. They’re probably back at the Leaf by now, right? They seemed like sweet kids, but they won't get far if sweetness is all they got.”

She grinned. “Look at me, sitting here guarding a dying man, trying to give out life advice. You’ve probably lived twice as long as I have, right pops?”

And right she was. As Dai lost all control over his fingers and toes, she was sitting back, relaxing, and inviting in death with her metronomic puffs of smoke. He wanted to be angry at this situation—at her frivolous wasting of her life, at the fact that he was about to die, at not even being able to know if his own son was going to be alright—but he was strangely calm.

The two rested there for a second before the girl started talking again. “Can I just ask you one question before you go? What was that technique you were using?”

Dai’s breathing was pained by now and making it harder to talk, but he answered all the same. “The gates. The… eight gates.”

She paused. “I’ve heard stories about the gates… but I’ve never actually been able to fight someone who could use all of them! So I guess the stories about dying after opening the eighth are true, huh.”

Dai grunted in agreement. His hands were completely gone by now, and he could feel his arms and legs almost ready to give.

“Aren’t you afraid of death?”

Dai was taken aback. He gathered his strength, and let his head drop to the side to face the girl. “I thought… I would be scared… but I’m not. I have… someone who is… waiting for me. And…” he swallowed, “I can finally… face him… without being… inferior.” He nearly spat the last word out into the dirt.

The girl stubbed out her cigarette butt into the dirt, already reaching for the next one. “I’ve had to listening to the ramblings of a thousand dying men, but you’re sure something special.” Dai’s vision was a blur, but he could hear the phosphorus ignite the match as she lit up once again. “I don’t know if it will be any consolation at this point, but you’re honestly one of the strongest men I’ve ever fought.” She paused for a second to take a drag on the cigarette. “I could never have beat you on my own. Shit, four of us couldn’t have beaten you, and it would have still been one fucking tough battle at five. So I guess what I mean is… you shouldn’t be so down on yourself. I’m sure that man, whoever he was, could see how strong you really are.”

It was almost time. Dai could feel his body almost ready to give out, and he willed it to stay alive just one more minute. “Thank you… I think… I needed that.” A trickle of blood ran out of the corner of his mouth and down his cheek, pooling on the dirt. “He was… the only one… who accepted… me. And… I love… him.”

The girl smiled down at him. “He must’ve been one hell of a guy to be loved by you.”

And in his final moments, Dai realized the girl was right.

And he realized that finally, he could rest in peace.

And he thought about seeing Sakumo again and could feel his heart falter, signalling the end of his time here.

And then it was dark.

**Author's Note:**

> if you really wanna get the Full Experience of reading this listen to haywyre's voice of reason while reading this bc i listened to that on repeat  
> also i am so so sorry


End file.
